Initially I found this book to be a bit preachy with its earnest messages, but I was won over by the author’s unique life and her willingness to face the great complexities of life that affect us all. And of course she could write about those complex issues with clarity.
She was born in Korea and lived there her first five years. Her father, a multi-generational Tacoma-based Jewish man, fell in love with her mother, a Korean Buddhist. After they had two children, they left Korea for Tacoma, and Angela was raised in the Jewish tradition. She has been challenged time and again about whether she could possibly be Jewish. She tells us that in Reform Judaism, having either a father or mother who is Jewish qualifies you to be Jewish without converting. She did have a conversion ceremony that she used as a rededication. She has been a cantor in a synagogue and is now the senior rabbi at Central Synagogue in New York City.
She is a nationally known figure and in 2014 she lead blessings and candle lighting at a Hanukkah celebration at the Obama White House. She was chosen to be on the tv program “Finding Your Roots” with Henry Louis Gates in its first season. Relatives are in a room adjacent to the filming. First her Jewish ancestors were identified, then in the dramatic portion of the program, her mother’s family was revealed. When her mother’s royal ancestors were identified, Rabbi Buchdahl couldn’t contain herself and yelled out to her mother, “The rumor is true, Mom, I’m a Jewish Korean Princess!”
I was happy that she wrote that race is a construct, it is not real. But of course when you have been asked to state your race many times on forms, it’s hard to remember that. She noted the Jewish tradition has it that they are a race of people, and take pride in that. Her essential message is the embrace of acceptance of the outsider or stranger, a concept that is an aspiration in most moral traditions, but so often not practiced.
I loved her story about her “female posse.” A friend in a prominent public position was trolled in an ugly way during the pandemic. She responded by posting a picture of an otter, which began to trend with her colleagues. One of her colleagues noted that female otters are known as bitches and lock arms with each other when they sleep, forming a raft, so none of them are lost. Rabbi Buchdahl says, “I know I would be out to sea without my raft of bitches!”
She wrote about the Hamas attack on Israel on October 7 and was disappointed in the lack of support for Israel in this attack on innocent civilians and in the anti-semitic acts in our country. She wrote about the distressing response of Israel and mentioned questions of proportional response, her own grieving for innocents in Gaza, and the calculating of the value of life on one side or the other.
Her biographical stories are punctuated by teachings from the Jewish texts and include singing. While they were a bit preachy at times, they were often accompanied by singing which I found to be wonderful interludes. She does have an amazing voice.
Angela Buchdal, Heart of a Stranger, Pamela Dorman Books, 2025, 352 pages (I listened to the audiobook). Available in the public library.